I now write at:
If you are looking for present ideas scroll down categories to Past and Presents, if you want to read about my frustrations with life read the rest or come over to where I am now.
An experiment in drying myself in a different order to normal opened my eyes.
A reminder of the depth to which our patterns become ingrained and habitual, how easy it is to just go through the motions of life without conscious thought.
Now I’m not suggesting we all become super aware of each swish of the towel, though a mindful person may suggest differently. What I am proposing is trying it to help understand how unconscious patterns work, and what a challenge it is to change them.
I find it heartening as it reminds me not to expect to change anything over night; it takes time and practice to create a new habit.
If we desire change then we can have it if we are willing to. So I say pick up a new freshly laundered idea, shake it out and begin the process of creating something new.
“There are risks to a programme of action, but they are ar less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”
Sometimes, first thing I ask for guidance and open my little book called BEGIN IT NOW, by Susan Hayward.
I am often challenged by what I read, which of course is exactly why I do it. It is all too easy for me to fall into comfortable inaction. I know that place, I’ve happily lived there for years and visit often. I can complain, blame, justify and project all my stuff and remain resolute that it not me, it’s THEM.
Not so of course, and yet again I am called back to ME.
Currently it is my M.E. symptoms which call for action, reminding me that I have lost sight of myself, that I have complicated my life by looking out trying to control the external (in this case my long-suffering family) when the internal is where I need to go.
Under the surface I must go and risk finding what lies below, perhaps I will find a pearl!
What action could you take?
“If you find yourself overwhelmed with negative feelings about your surroundings, set your intention for what you want to experience rather than descend into the emotional storm. ………… Don’t be a victim of circumstance but take responsibility for everything that is happening in your life, knowing you are the creator of your reality.” www.rebekahshaman.com
I opened an email from Rebeka Shaman this morning, and it is exactly what I need to remember and apply.
I have so much less now than a few weeks ago, only what will fit in 28 feet of boat along with all the necessary boaty stuff, and the belongings of 3 others people, and yet I have still heard myself lament ” there’s too much stuff on here!”
So Rebeka helps by reminding me to set my intention for what I want, get the focus off the problem and onto the solution. It’s simple yet incredibly powerful, to look to what I desire rather than what I do not.
If I want A, then B, C and D have to happen; I have a starting place, a destination to head for.
So it’s a tidy well organised ship I’m aiming for here, what do you intend for today?
A very interesting thing has happened.
I am now afloat, sharing 28 feet with 3 other people and still I feel like I have TOO MUCH STUFF, how can this be? It certainly is strange and makes me wonder about all that other stuff I have packed up to await our return; what on earth do I have there.
I am wondering if it’s all a question of size or space, so that whatever the actual square footage one has, is irrelevant, it’s what goes on in there. Perhaps it’s not stuff I have an issue with so much as clutter, meaning that I prefer clean clear space.
Our empty house, ready for the tenants to move in, was a joy to my soul, it sang with delight as I wandered from clean, clear room, to clean clear room. It was not totally empty but had less than the bare minimum. With most of the furniture removed I could actually see expanses of floor and wall. I loved it.
Now the trick will be to create some of that clarity here in this little space.
I am taking a break from putting net over some shelves. This is done to stop stuff falling out when at sea, but what I see it does is it creates that evenness, that sameness which for me is soothing to my eye.
So I’d better roll on with the netting and ponder more on all this.
All gone; well not all, but a huge chunk, maybe half.
Clearing out my books has been done in stages over many years. The first thing I did was to get decent storage shelves and that solved part of the problem. I then was able to arrange them in a manner which made sense to me.
It also delighted me to be able to go to a section when I needed them. Sick children, saunter to health section, read, get answer, administer, nice and easy.
As for clearing them out:
I began with ones I really did not need any more, and wasn’t that attached to. Those were easy really compared with what was to come. This was done gradually as and when I noticed one and decided it could go.
Sometimes I’ve given them away to people I care about who I thought would actually appreciate them or use the material more than me. This also has the added benefit of being able to borrow them back. All assuming they don’t get rid of them.
Next I put time aside and sat with my books and went through each self asking:
Do I really need this now?
Am I going to read it again?
For what reason am I keeping it then?
Could it be used elsewhere?
What is stopping me letting it go?
This usually enables another load to move on.
The final clearing was much harder. I had to let go of might do, would like to do, maybe one day and what I used to do and be.
An example was the amazing number of parenting books I had accumulated. It was slightly embarrassing actually, though I also feel some sympathy for the person I was, trying so hard to be a good enough mum.
Anyway the long and short of it is I’m into teen territory now so they vould go. It was hard beause as you may know from previous posts I find it hard to let go of the past times with my children…..more gut wrenching and hauling myself into the present.
Lastly I have also consoled myself by giving some of what I consider my best books ( like all the parenting ones) to the local library, so should I ever need them they are there.
So go slow and gentle, little steps are easier, and if in doubt, keep them for now, in my experience you will feel differently later.
We’re outta here in two weeks time.
AND, I am handling all this amazingly well. In times past I’d have been at fever pitch by now screaming, stressed out, over whelmed and not enjoying the process at all.
Apart from a couple of hours blip after a long tiring drive on Tuesday I am staying calm, and centered. I believe I have ME to thank for this, so it’s not all bad when apparently bad things happen.
My efforts to recover from ME have led me to some interesting places, not least mindfulness. Although I am practising mindful yoga and mediation regularly it is the approach to everyday that counts. The concentrated practice appears to radiate out across all of my life.
In addition a constant theme of ME has been to Let Go. ” What even more” I have cried countless times as the messages I receive tell me to let go, let go and let go some more.
It is in this letting go that a kind of magic begins to happen.
Take the storm damage for example. On Tuesday my blip was triggered by coming home to trees down in the garden and the house turned upside down as hubby paints 4 rooms at once. After my initial freak out I decided to go with the flow;
- make beds up for the kids on the landing,
- tidy up the kitchen so there was one clear, clean space,
- appreciate what hubby doing,
- remember chaos is the name of the game in this last wo weeks of sorting everything out
I calmed down and got on with the next thing on the list.
Then on top of all this the guy we called to see if he could help with the trees came the next day, cut them down and up , cleared all the branches and what’s even better, we now have a great wood pile for our return.
One of my morning affirmations is:
Everything that needs done is done, with ease and joy.